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by [info]heartdivide

i'm an open book. don't be shy! <3

This Month
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Nov. 19th, 2009 @ 08:47 pm woooooooooooooooooo
Feeling: busy
hahaha i can't be bothered to do homework for this semester, i'm too excited planning the next one (my LAST one!) because the schedule was posted today. i only need 2 more classes for my major & i am free to choose anything i can get into for the rest.

i am planning to take:

digital editing I
(my #1 goal for this rest of the year - become awesome at editing)

economic aspects of broadcasting
(with miriam smith, which means the class will be full of random chatter & guest speakers)

growth through adventure
(holly took this & loved it. lessons include white water rafting & ropes course & camping & rock climbing)

shakespeare plays
(ratemyprofessor says the prof is THE BEST, EVER. i miss shakespeare)

KSFS
(because it's fun to be on the radio, yo!)

i will have class monday evening, tuesday morning, weds all day, thurs evening. free on fri, sat & sun for work. i am excited!!!!! but need to finish this semester first!!!!! :O

need to go back to editing lab now. i've literally spent all day there, except when kevin had class. we're screening the doc-in-progress tomorrow morning and we want it to be snazzy. it's going really, really well. :D
hooray for warm cats!
Nov. 17th, 2009 @ 01:25 pm fgfjh
Feeling: sore
Music: fatboy slim "that old pair of jeans" <- listen to this, you won't be sad
i'm getting sick again, GAHHHH. cough, sore throat, croaking voice on the day when i was planning to do an on-camera cooking demo in class, i bought a cute chef's hat from the spirit halloween clearance sale.. but there are 2 more studio days after thanksgiving break, so i still have time. (i'm going to "cook" ramen and make it very gourmet and silly, hahaha)

"buttsex is the ultimate test of being comfortable with someone, and you passed." awwww! :p

i gave a homeless guy a sandwich yesterday. i felt really good about that. he was really young like around my age, and attempting to sleep in the back of the bus. i had brought 2 sandwiches for dinner at work, and i really didn't need both of them. so i asked if he wanted one and he said yes.

i remember once i was riding late night alone on muni. these 2 drunk girls got on the bus and started screaming WAKE UP WAKE UP!!!!! at this poor man just trying to sleep quietly in the back. stupid self centered drunk bitches can't imagine how hard it is to not have a warm bed at home where they can nurse their hangovers.

i think i am destined for a career in social justice.
sing out lovely
Nov. 14th, 2009 @ 09:14 pm lj neglect is so sad.
Current Location: work
Feeling: weird
Music: classical radio in the lobby
halloween was fun times! my doc crew friend, diana & i went to the excelsior and hung out with the cute old people that we've been talking to for the film. (an 80 year old man in a penguin costume is ADORABLE. he had the cute penguin feet!! hee) they gave us apple cider, and we trick or treated a little while and then went to a small party, thrown by a really nerdy guy in my doc class named josh (who dressed as a mad scientist and brews his own beer in a closet). we watched some awesome videos he made. and his friends shared THE MOST ENORMOUS blunts that i have ever seen. and a guy randomly made a really, really awesome sandwich for me :O
diana was a bee with a cute stinger on her butt, and i was a sparkly princess, wore my dress & tiara to work, and all the hotel guests loved it :D and i left a lot of glitter on my office chair, from my dress.


i finally saw twilight and it was so baaad it was good. totally porn for girls. the closeups of edward cullen's EYES, haha. everyone in the movie is just so damn attractive. i loved the vampire baseball game. and that robert dude is supreme eyecandy. mmmmm pale boys with lipstick and eyeliner. mmmmmm. and kristen is a hottie too. i watched it with diana and maleka, and maleka is so hilarious when we are watching anything, she totally talks at the screen and sometimes she squeals at it too.

saw the who's "tommy" which was sad & disturbing but it was great of course. except the theater had blown out the speakers on one side, so we only heard it from the left.. and the onstage band's music drowned out some of the vocals. but it was still good.

in other news
life = aaaauuuuggghhhh!!!!!!
etc.

last week was hellish. felt like some evil spirit was deliberately fucking everything up.

(random quote: "spirit is an awesome neutral word. there are spirits that bake you cupcakes, and there are spirits who toss you off a cliff.")

1) laptop internet was off for hella days (until ian figured out the STUPID EASY solution).

2) kevin from my doc group deleted everything on my ipod by putting a video on it and syncing it to his computer EVEN THOUGH I TOLD HIM that would happen, but he ignored me and told me not to worry about it... uh huh. i was pissed but i'm over it now.. except a lot of the music wasn't saved on my computer, so i have a lot of re-downloading to do.

3) muni sucked a lot. i had horrible timing and had to run for my buses/trains FIVE TIMES in one day. one driver saw me and started to drive away, but i kept running alongside the bus and he let me on at the next block. and then i got stuck on the underground muni due to a switch problem. i finally took bart instead. i should do this more often; my monthly pass is good for both bart and muni... but with bart, i have to take yet another bus back home, whereas the M gets me straight to campus in one ride, and i don't have to wait outside for a bus that may take 20 min to come. but sometimes at night it's a half hour wait for the M. so i take either the L or K and then the 17.. oh well. the bright side is that this gives me dedicated time for reading. yum.

4) a gross guy harassed me in a muni station.. asked for money repeatedly, i said no, and he ruffled my hair and walked away. :O i should have fuckin' reacted and kicked him in the nuts. but i'm a gentle & nice person so people fuck with me all the time.

5) some assholes attempted to break into my apartment 3 times, on friday and sunday. i'm on the ground floor. they apparently (almost?) got inside once by ripping out the screen of my bedroom window and the window was open - but they didn't take anything, THANK GOD. my laptop, my ipod, my camera, my xbox.. i had a lot of valuables. the guys upstairs heard them trying to get in, and scared them off. but then they tried to get back in an hour later... when my roommate was obviously home & lights were on. two days later, they came back.. and again, my roommate was home. she saw them, but they got away. the campus cops took all the info and said they will be patrolling the area but they can't put up video surveillance and we didn't get a sketch artist or anything like that to identify them. so we are just keeping the windows locked :/

6) i barely ate most days i worked. one day i only had chicken nuggets and a granola bar. another day i only had some frozen egg and sausage breakfast sandwiches. mostly because i don't give myself the time to prep anything. and i didn't have many food options. but i went grocery shopping with holly a couple days ago, bought lots of good food!

7) feeling ridiculous, emo, hopeless and LAME, all the time.

but things are getting better this week finally. i'm looking forward to editing the doc. it's really coming together.

oh and i have a dude who digs me maybe?????????? he has a cool name and he lives upstairs and we are f-book friends and we have some important things in common, and he is indeed my "type" if i have one, i suppose i am intrigued... my roommates think he likes me and we would be cute together. after the first night of break-ins, he and his roommate hung out at my place and we played rock band forever. it was fun. a few days later we all hung out again and i was a totally shy and awkward spaz, i have no idea what i want and i think i am in no position to be in a relationship .. but that's how these things always seem to begin, eh?

0_0
krazy sneaker love
Nov. 1st, 2009 @ 07:30 pm serious question
Current Location: work
Feeling: restless
SHOULD I BUY THIS???
http://www.spirithalloween.com/product/punky-pop-rock-wig/

i really want to, haha
i will probably never dye my hair crazy like this again

(...maybe-probably)


i've been feeling rather colorful and inspired. i wish i could spend my time making art. i bought a sketchbook with the idea that i will make mini-collages and it will be awesome. but ummm. what is "time"??


(oh, and halloween entry coming soon! hope you had fun!)
sing out lovely
Oct. 19th, 2009 @ 04:55 pm bored-at-work babbles
Feeling: chipper
it is so freakin' SLOW here today. no guests in house that i should be talking to. but there are check-ins that haven't arrived yet.

facebook and almost all the other social networking / blogging sites are still blocked on my work computer, but OMG! LJ IS NO LONGER!!!! hee!

usually i spend the boring time reading QC (love-love-love) but i've been needing to catch up on lj friends entries, so yay.

except for some reason i can't see photos or videos posted on here, that's lame.

it's been pouring rain here today. pretty sad to see the miserable guests soaking wet without umbrellas

...dude what the hell???? i just heard on the radio here that the muni metro is FLOODED and not running... holy shit. i usually take the underground M, looks like i'm taking the 30 to the 28 home.. which isn't a bad ride, the 28 goes to the golden gate bridge <3

awww there is a rainbow now!!! :D !!!!
starry city night
Oct. 13th, 2009 @ 12:49 am awws.
Feeling: touched
"i want cuddles a lot more than sex now
obviously i'm a hot body, i need you to love me for being warm too"

"i love you like a favorite old t-shirt
the most comfortable in the drawer
the one i'm glad to know is there, even though i don't wear it every day"
hooray for warm cats!
Oct. 12th, 2009 @ 02:50 am whatnot
Feeling: bouncy
Music: arcade fire "intervention"
this weekend i worked a lot! and did FOUR LOADS of laundry! and extreme sexytime! and grocery shopping!

i bought:
strawberry banana orange juice
diet dr. pepper (kinda big bottles, 6 pack)
5 marie callender's frozen turkey pot pies
a pineapple!

good thing i already have some other food and stuff.. seriously have to limit how much i buy at one time because i can only purchase as much as i can carry. mainly i needed to get some drinks that were not tea or alcohol. and those were UNNGGHH so heavy. it doesn't sound like a lot but my shoulders ached so badly. (i always try to take on more than i should carry, in pretty much every context.) people with cars that they can drive right up to their homes should be very thankful. my roommate holly has a car and we go shopping once in a while, which is great, but i really like shopping by myself because i can spend time looking & deciding on things whereas she just kinda throws stuff in the cart, heh. i spent $19, and saved $15 from how much everything was on sale! i am seriously the queen of the cost-per-ounce comparison. hooray safeway club card! also saved a few cents for bringing my own canvas tote bags!

then i got back to campus and realized that my wallet had fallen out of my bag and it must still be on the bus. OH NOES OH NOES. ian told me not to freak out, we plopped helmets on our heads (okay, he put mine on because i don't know how to fasten those things) and we hopped on his vespa and rode to west portal to catch the 17 on its way back to the station, and I FOUND MY WALLET under the seat, i was so relieved! and i had never been on a scooter or motorcycle before. it was SO AWESOME OMG OMG. unfortunately his scooter has mismatched tires and isn't really supposed to hold that much weight so he was kinda terrified but it was just a short distance and SO AWESOME. i really hope that happens again sometime??? also he helped to carry everything to my apartment. :)

guuhhhhhh i need to try to sleep. crap. not tired at all. i am so bad. i have to be at work again in fucking 8 hours. and then OMG HOMEWORK... ok it's like 3am, i think no one will care if i smoke a little outside my front door. i only need a small amount at a time and it's seriously the best thing for insomnia. sooo i'm planning to get a medical marijuana card soon. HELLA LEGIT.
juicy fruity tangy yum
Oct. 8th, 2009 @ 01:47 am i should tell you, i'm disaster
Feeling: uncomfortable
Music: earlimart "all they ever do is talk"
yesterday laura and i saw RENT!!! with anthony rapp and adam pascal, the 2 original lead actors zomg it was SO AMAZING to see it live, just absolutely magical. and we had lori's diner milkshakes. and in the powell street station, there was a male mime dressed up head to toe as a pretty lady with a white painted face and a parasol. i gave her a dollar and she blew me kisses.

today was doing fun things with motion! since getting my hands on this program, i've become increasingly aware of how much digital graphic design exists EVERYWHERE. very useful! i want to get better at all of this. just need to spend time with it. my editing partner, matt, is really rad too.

tonight was 5 girls in my living room watching "glee"... i got pizza dough from trader joes, & made a pizza with bruschetta instead of tomato sauce. it was so very good. maleka helped with that, because i am a monster in the kitchen. she also made sugar cookies. holly vacuumed our room and offered to make my bed if i cleared my shit off it, so i did. and ella is just completely adorable. i love my roommates

i have decided that i really should drop another class. the one that requires reading and studying and a lot of writing is history of tv documentary. the problem is that my dad will be PISSED. because he wants me to have a full-time education (15+ units) because he is paying big bucks for me to live on campus and he wants me to give up my job before i drop classes. but i need to keep working & saving money. it's my freedom. and the fact is that even if i drop this class, i will still only need TWO classes to graduate next semester. i should not be forced to go insane like this. i've been responsible with my education and i'm in a great place. i am busier than i have ever been. i am absolutely stressed. making a documentary, PLUS a very full time school schedule of awesome things that i actually WANT to spend extra time on (but i don't HAVE extra time!!), PLUS working 3-4 days a week (picking up an extra shift this week since dan and tamika were fired)... and i have to do laundry and still have to catch up on all my media performance homework this week (i've gotten away with not doing it because i missed 3 weeks of the class from being sick)... and i have a couple of other fun events to attend... i just can't do everything. i feel kind of stupid for trying.

so i need to drop something. i'll still be full-time with 12 units. i will offer to pay my own rent next month. money talks. my dad understands money. he doesn't understand how important it is to have a balance of work + school + play in one's life. he doesn't understand how much time and effort it takes to make a film in less than 4 months... i have no idea how to fit in all the interviews and shoot dates we want to schedule, i'm going to make a huge calendar so my group can figure this shit out).. he doesn't understand that it takes me up to an hour each way to go to work on the bus + subway, so my 25-30ish work hours a week is really more time than that. he doesn't understand the time it requires to shop and cook and clean and do laundry because my mom takes care of all that stuff for him. i have WAY TOO MUCH GOING ON, AHHHHH

i want to go out and enjoy the city, i haven't been to golden gate park in months :[

wonder if this is why i've been sick for most of the last 3 weeks?? i'm feeling physically better though, finally
but my heart + mind are all in a shambles. i really don't deal with change well.



also, apparently my dad got a facebook. 0_0 i'm going to wait for him to friend me first!
this will be my home someday
Sep. 30th, 2009 @ 12:52 am so....
Feeling: tired
Music: sufjan stevens "chicago"
i fired up my okc game. that is okcupid and it is very fun!

i'm not looking for a hot date.. i want to take everything slowly. relationship transitions deserve some time to settle. i would be very hurt if ian started dating someone right away. but i really need to meet new people to have fun with.

so i'm getting to know a bloke named alexavier (how amazing is that?? haha, he goes by alex).
we talked on aim for several hours.

him (9:49:49 PM): If we become friends and hang out I will purchase Beatles Rock Band to play
me (9:49:53 PM): OKAY

he's 22. recently graduated. majored in cinema. did college radio. likes to dance and sing karaoke. writes short stories and films. smokes pot. likes thrift shops. he has a car. he sounds very nerdy and goofy. just moved to sf a few months ago, doesn't have too many friends here yet. i don't have many either. perhaps he will be a good one.

so i'm going to a show at bottom of the hill with him in a couple of weeks. cool.
feet in the air i got no cares
Sep. 29th, 2009 @ 01:24 am 5 things
Feeling: sick
Music: placebo "every you every me"
(1)
Questionable Content fucking rocks my world

...FINALLY, RIGHT???

i'm on #130 out of 1500+ .... i'll catch up eventually :p
when i am bored at work, i've been reading them.. and of course, all of jeph's awesome news blogs. and i will eventually download the shit out of all the music he recommends.

(1.5)
Coupling is also REALLY REALLY GREAT. cheers to ian for introducing it to me!!! (and Peep Show too!) GAH I LOVE THEM

(2)
feeling okay about ian + me = whatever. our cozy friendship makes me happy.

(3)
i'm still sick and it's been over a week. haven't done homework but i can't make myself care about it. i'm in a fog, my head feels like a yo-yo, i'm full of goop and snot (it's green when i wake up, which amuses me- except for the fact that i can't breathe) and i've got the worst cough i've ever had :[

going to student health tomorrow...

(4)
i bought big bags of frozen edamame from trader joe's. edamame is so much fun to eat when i am alone and i can suck and slurp the little beans and get all that flavor from the pods, mmmmm. oh yeah i am so sexy.

(5)
i love working mondays because jason is at the front desk and we spend the afternoon making lame jokes/puns and animal noises. (in case you wondered why my facebook status is "may the horse be with you")
juicy fruity tangy yum
Sep. 23rd, 2009 @ 10:19 pm boo
Feeling: lazy
i'm sick for reals now. sore throat, stuffy nose, swollen lymph nodes, feeling unmotivated and lame. totally not doing the homework i should be doing. meh. ian's been sick the past week and i finally got it too... and all of my roommates are sick as well.

spending a lot of time doing awesome production things. like practicing with motion and final cut pro. it's so awesome and i'm getting better, i'm making the new show intro in motion, and some other projects, like "bumpers" to promote what's coming up after the commercial breaks. working with a few other people and it's going really well.
also meeting with my documentary group at least once a week, i'm excited for this. we have a better focus now, some planned shoot dates and good ideas for everything.

i bought tickets for RENT!!!!!!!!
krazy sneaker love
Sep. 12th, 2009 @ 07:07 pm ...
Feeling: blah
Music: daniel johnston "true love will find you in the end"
today i called in sick to work and did two loads of laundry.
it is good to be alone
Sep. 11th, 2009 @ 05:25 pm craaazzzyyy
Feeling: busy
ohhhh shit i need to find the time to update this thing... so much has happened and this entry is gonna be a monster!!!!!!!!!

well, damn.
my classes are all really great and i am excited and motivated for them. but holy shit, i am busy. i am taking 15 units, pretty much all of them are PRODUCTION which means they require lots of outside-of-class time and dedication. but i think it will be good experience. i have classes on tuesday morning, wednesday afternoon, thursday morning and friday all day. i work on saturday mornings, sunday and monday all day, and have a work meeting on thursday afternoon. and i have a radio show on wednesday morning (10-11 am, http://ksfsradio.org). it would be nice to have A LITTLE more free time, but i think i can manage somehow...

i was taking 18 units, but i dropped my geography of health class.... just felt really 'meh' about it. not worth the effort right now when i have so many more awesome things keeping me busy. the assigned novels are interesting, but i can read them on my own time. so now i need 15 more units of health education stuff for my minor, plus one more BECA class for my major. i might take something in health during winter session to make sure i can fit everything in, and GRADUATE this spring.

what i'm taking:
media performance II - we do video stuff in class, spend one week performing on camera, and then switch & work on crew the next week. we can perform anything we want. i did a news story for my first one. might do a comedy routine or poetry reading next. and we have to record audio stuff outside of class, and write critiques of ourselves. really straight-forward and laid-back, and fun people, after class i went to the campus pub with some of them. tipsy on a single glass of champagne, mmmm.

final cut pro editing - this is an independent study with jen vaughn, one of my favorites. i'll be doing editing and a couple of projects for the news tv show we produce on campus, and also getting a lot of practice time in the secret tiny editing lab in the basement. (the regular upstairs editing lab isn't even open normal hours yet, because there is no money to hire lab monitors or something like that?? but we'll have special access to it for the news editing. jen is a superhero for the dept, i'm glad she didn't get fired with all the other dozen or so lecturers).

history of tv documentary - mostly lecture but the main assignment is production and i'm getting really into it.. we will be writing our own documentary proposals and doing all of the pre-production work, and then some of them will be produced next semester. i'm planning mine about the modern hippies of haight street.

documentary of health & social justice - our class is producing 4 documentaries, in groups of 4-5 students each. the topics were given by local non-profit organizations to highlight their work and discuss issues that need improvement. one is about the recently opened "lotus bloom" center in oakland, which supports early childhood education and activities like music, arts, reading, child & parent workshops. one is about public housing in chinatown, the lack of affordable housing and little support from the city. one is about nystrom, a sad neighborhood in richmond with one of the highest violence rates in america, lots of chevron pollution and shitty schools.
and my documentary about the excelsior district here in SF, a neighborhood with a bad reputation, huge cultural diversity and several organizations working to improve the area's public safety, youth programs, local business, and projects to bring the community together. we want to help them redefine the excelsior. my group has already spent hours talking about the issues and our proposal, we all care a lot about it. our group is totally multi-cultural too - one white girl, one asian guy, one latina girl, one black/chinese guy, and one italian exchange student. kevin is the one i am getting to know the best so far, he is my new radio co-host (at least one of them, i'm inviting my roommates also). he lives in the heart of the excelsior so we meet at his house to work. it's not too far from campus.

oh god so much else to talk about

i visited my parents for the first time since moving back here. just went to concord for dinner and came back to the city the same night. but they were happy to see me. they let me pick the restaurant! we went to chili's, where i had ribs, and a couple of those little desserts in the shot-glasses. there's one that tastes EXACTLY like a fresh warm cinnamon roll in a cup. it's amazing!!!

i went to a really fun hotel concierge event, a free hop-on hop-off sightseeing tour with stops at japantown and the fillmore area/yoshi's. it was sponsored by the japantown / fillmore neighborhood associations which are trying to make the area more of a tourist destination. so they invited concierge staff over and gave us huge goody bags of samples and coupons and gifts, and platters of amazing hors d'oeuvres.. spicy cheesy things.. and fancy desserts.. chocolate strawberry mousse and blueberry parfait.. ohhh maaaan there were so many others, i wanted to try them all but just didn't have enough hands or enough time. meanwhile the servers were continuously filling our glasses with expensive champagne. and then there was a raffle and i won a pair of free tickets to any show at yoshi's. then the bus took us to beautiful twin peaks at sunset, it was absolutely gorgeous. forgot my camera :p OH YES, i have a digital camera now finally. it is kodak and pink. still need to figure out how to use it and upload stuff... it's supposed to be quite simple but i haven't tried yet :p

i met [info]neonstrawberi !!!!!!! she was visiting california with her family and we met up in the haight... actually we met on the SAME 71-bus on the way there! her family was very sweet and cassie was completely adorable. i told her she was cuter than a handful of buttons... which we decided is a wonderful thing to have, you don't even need a reason! we spent the afternoon exploring haight street. including the random goodness of goodwill (a duck wearing bunny ears!?) and a fantastic overflowing book shop, with massive piles of books even stacked on top of the shelves. we also visited my favorite craft store where we smiled at glittery stickers and books about making gourd instruments, and cassie bought me some bamboo knitting needles (hooray i have 3 sizes now! and i've made a promise to myself that i will do something wonderful with them.) we stopped at a smoke shop where cassie introduced me to tasty vanilla cloves. and we checked out amoeba right before meeting up with her family again, and taking photos! can't wait to see those, love!

i have photos to share from my recent trip to monterey and carmel. another free sightseeing tour! i'm taking advantage of all the concierge perks, haha. will post again soon :)
starry city night
Aug. 22nd, 2009 @ 07:27 pm *breathes*
Music: soothing yoga music
damn i haven't had time for the internet in ages.. someone blocked facebook and livejournal and other fun sites on my work computer, LAME. aghghh i'll try to catch up on reading lj entries soon.

ahhhh i love my job! i finally got a name tag! i've never had a job with a name tag before! i am so fancy now! and my paycheck i got yesterday was $600 and that has never happened before, aaaaa :D !!!

except i have been so ridiculously busy and exhausted and i still have so much to do, hooray i don't have to work tomorrow! i can actually finish unpacking and organizing!

today after work i went to safeway and my receipt said that i spent $40 and SAVED $20 because everything i bought was on sale, i love doing my own shopping. and omg hooray living without parents again finally. i've met 2/3 of my roommates (holly and maleka, ella has not moved in yet) .. they are very very sweet and i am happy. and starbucks caramel macchiato ice cream is so great. also i am obsessed with this show on fit-tv called "namaste"


so soothing and peaceful and awesome!

so i've been really happy doing my own thing but simultaneously i've been a huge stupid emo mess with ian

we are having... issues? >_< well, i guess i'm the one with issues. i'm so frustrated and angry with certain things

and i'm going through a manic phase which is sometimes very cheerful but other times i'm FILLED WITH RAGE. except when i'm having great "me" time, chillin' and watching peaceful yoga.

oh, i'm also totally bitchy and pms-ing like whoa.

but hooray for living here!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D :D !!!!!!!!
juicy fruity tangy yum
Aug. 15th, 2009 @ 09:48 am aaaaaa
Current Location: work
Feeling: sooo tired
oh god where did the summer go

so this is my life:

day before yesterday - work 11-7
yesterday - work 11-8
today - work until 3, go back to ian's, go to concord, jeremi's party!
tomorrow - OH SHIT, PACK EVERYTHING
monday - more packing, then mom + i will drive to sf with all my stuff (thank god i can keep it at ian's for a day)
tuesday - work 11-7
wednesday - move into my new apartment!! (on campus, same building as last year) & meet my roommates!!
thursday - work 11-7
friday - work 11-7
saturday - work 8-3
sunday - my day off! might check out the sf zinefest :)

and classes start tuesday.
moist angry pussy!
Aug. 12th, 2009 @ 02:55 am *sigh*
Feeling: lame
i want to hide. and read. and make a frenzy of art with paint and magazine clippings. something productive and alone. something that makes me proud of myself
lovely clementine
Aug. 6th, 2009 @ 01:55 am scheduling and pondering
Feeling: energetic
registered for classes! 15 units anyway, might add one more during open registration when i can go up to 19, but i'm happy :)

tuesday
9am-1pm: media performance II
wednesday
10am-1pm: electronic field production I
thursday
5-(?)pm: KSFS radio (??)
7-10pm: geography of health & healthcare
friday
9am-4pm: documentary of social justice & health

i was hoping to take the tv doc or corporate media thursday morning class but i expect they will be full... or i might add a tuesday evening philosophy class, "ethics in medicine" - still 24 spots left! the cool thing about my health minor is that it's pretty open as to what courses fulfill the reqs: "electives in health education, holistic health or related fields on advisement as related to student's needs and interests" .. i need to talk to an advisor though. the SFSU website says the minor requires 21 units, but then underneath when it goes thru the actual requirements, it says 18 units. and i want to save one of those elective classes for spring semester when the course "drugs and society" should be offered...

so, looks like i will have all of sat/sun/mon, and tue/wed PM shifts available to work. i won't have more than 3-4 shifts per week so that should be fine. i'm excited for all the awesome exciting production classes (so far i'm taking only ONE lecture class this semester!) the production/activity ones are great for getting to know people. i want more friends here.

i can't technically register in the radio class because it overlaps the other class i am taking thursday night - but i want to continue being on the radio! and i want to promote the station so people actually listen to us! i miss KVHS a lot, having real listeners makes a big difference. (i still meet random people who remember me as zoe from the KVHS days!) so we will see, perhaps i can have an independent project (beca695) in radio promotion... not sure what that requires. don't want a lot of work, it's more of a possibility than a priority. i would really love to just do a show without officially being in the class. there will be plenty of time-slots.. i don't even really care if i get units for it. ian is the KSFS general manager this year so i'll be involved either way. but i would definitely like to help out with promotion. KSFS is a fantastic showcase of student talent & creativity, but no one listens or even knows about the station - that's sad. so we need to get the new site up and then promote the shit out of it! i want to be proud of the station, i want KSFS to be something to take seriously. i hope we make promo spots to run on other stations. do cross-promotions with school newspaper, tv shows, theater productions etc. weird demonstrations in the quad? a bud brownie bake sale with "KSFS" toothpick signs in them??...maybe that's a bad idea

anyway. after this semester, i will only need 5 or 6 more classes and then i'm DONE :O

oh man, i will miss figuring out my class schedule!!!!!! i love this process too much....
krazy sneaker love
Aug. 2nd, 2009 @ 08:57 pm lalalaaaa
Current Location: work!
Feeling: chipper
Music: opera music.. ew
free offspring show! wooo! it was fun, i stayed out of the moshpit this time, just sat up in the 2nd row of the balcony and saw everything awesomely. they played all the old hits, "pretty fly for a white guy" and all the rest. the lead singer played a soft slow piano version of "gone away" which was really cool except for the fact that he can't really sing. speaking the lyrics doesn't quite sound right in that situation :p

i've been having that gross girly week of raging hormones and chocolate craving, haha... which means i've been an absolute pleasure for ian. riiiigghht. i feel bad about it! like how he fixed mac n' cheese for me and i turned my nose up at it because he added garlic powder and i wanted the plain mac n' cheese that i fix myself without anything different. and how i sent him a mean whiny text when he didn't want to go somewhere with me, even though i pretty much knew he wouldn't go and it was perfectly fine anyway. i hate how i let little things get to me like that. so i'm trying to chillax, because none of that really matters.
ian is so good for me. always warm, calm, giving, patient. he pets my head and rubs my feet and he got out of his cozy bed to bring me pancakes in the morning before i had to leave for work. and he's so damn cute when he falls asleep on me... and when his hair is messy... and when it's not... and when he makes a silly face to get me to smile :)
sing out lovely
Jul. 29th, 2009 @ 02:24 am oOoOoOoOo
Current Location: concord
Feeling: relieved
listen to this totally addictive song (with depressing lyrics)!!!! i scream ice cream "trust tissue" i dig it :)

(and now, the portion of the entry in which carrie becomes a cynical music critic)

saw of montreal on friday. they are tremendous. but the thrill has worn off, and i don't need to obsessively attend every tour anymore. i think the first time seeing any band will almost always be the most magical.

i still remember my first of montreal show: at the great american music hall in 2007, the floor was pounding and the air was alive with the volcanic passion of the music and the crowd. i promise i wasn't even stoned. it was so intense. i just knew that being in that crowd was possibly the truest form of JOY that i would ever experience. and once you've felt it, you know it's the best you'll ever know.

the second time i saw them (at the grand ballroom in '08) was also powerful, but mainly because my heart was in shreds. i've never cried so much during a show, i lived every fucking sad song, man. the onstage demonstrations and costumes were intense too...

the third time was friday at the fox theater. the mood was just not there. it seemed like everyone in the crowd was just a fucking teenybopper "lol i'm so indie" scene kid. i don't know. i didn't feel the love. right in front of me before the show, there were these 3 silly high school girls who were drunkenly acting "sexy" while taking pictures of themselves. they were all wearing short skirts and screaming about how hard they wanted to fuck kevin barnes. um hello, EVERYONE wants to fuck kevin barnes. it's kind of an unspoken rule. anyway... i was kind of distracted by these girls. during the opening act (jon brion, who is seriously fucking talented), the girls were busy chatting with the random dudes standing on each side of me. on the left, girlie was flirting and stealing the boy's jack and coke. on the right, girl and boy were having this horrible mundane conversation about if she was going to apply to san diego or berkeley or whatever. so i was in the middle of all this nonsense. i moved around them when i had the chance.
then of montreal came on and i wanted to be really excited but it just felt kind of stale. same stage antics, actually less elaborate ones than they had last year. really nothing new. and it felt cheesy this time. like the obvious divide between "i am a soulful songwriter sharing my craft" and "hahaha look at the tiger trying to mate with the pig!" the sound didn't seem that great either, but i don't really know anything about judging acoustics. also, i was constantly thinking about how hot and thirsty i was... i guess i just wasn't as into it this time, which is a little disheartening since i consider of montreal one of my favorite bands. but it's something good to realize. shows are expensive, they don't have to be a priority if i've already seen the band. i need to save my money for new experiences. the third time will just never be as good as the first.


in other news

i decided to be a girl today. how very strange! i shaved and lotioned, painted my toenails red, and put my hair up in silly little pigtails. ^_^

tonight i felt like being nice to the parents so i said "LET'S PLAY A GAME" and my dad and i played taboo, and it was absolutely hilarious because he was giving me awful clues trying to get me to say the words, and he was even acting some things out like ballet and opera singing, and pretending he was an octopus by flailing his arms and legs around... GUYS, my dad is ALWAYS SO SERIOUS, i was completely amazed and flabbergasted by this

and ALSO, OMG )
resting here i am okay
Jul. 23rd, 2009 @ 06:52 pm Exhaust stub and cylinder gasket q's
Current Location: ian's house
Feeling: cheerful
i am using ian's laptop and this was my favorite title saved in his previous titles used. what the hell are those things? he's a scooter geek :)

ok, went through an emotional semi-crisis and now i have a more healthy outlook on my relationship. it's about the journey not the destination. and we will always be bffs no matter what. or something like that.

i worked with morgan (my manager) on monday. i was trying really hard to book some guests for presentations and it just wasn't going to happen. she told me i really needed to improve my sales performance, the company can't afford to pay people who don't meet the required production average (one per shift). so i was really stressed, she had never been negative like that before. meanwhile, she was doing really well and booking lots of people. it was so frustrating. trying to keep it light, i joked, "maybe i'm your good luck charm." she said, "there's no room in the budget for a good luck charm."

OH NO SHE DIDN'T !!!!

but then on wednesday i worked by myself and booked THREE couples. because i am getting a lot better at this. :]

i gave bart $ to a guy desperate to catch one of the last trains and he was so grateful, i love doing things like that when i have a little to spare. i really don't care about money, except that i want to live comfortably and travel. so... money.

working is so great, i feel good about myself and i am planning to save a lot more than i spend.

saw no doubt on tuesday!!!! felt like a moment in history, ever since gwen's solo thing, i didn't know if the whole band would ever tour again. they were great. ska jam band interludes during gwen's costume changes. she was hot. bridget was sick and couldn't go :( but i hung out with laura, alison, sara and harminder who i hadn't seen in like a bazillion years! :p

today i "graduated" from therapy. i have a talk-doc and a meds-doc and i don't have to see the talk-doc anymore unless i have new issues i want to discuss.

i jumped on a bus without paying today (had to sneak in the back door when the bus was about to pull away from the stop) and 5 minutes later, a muni cop got on and asked everyone to show their transfers. i got off at the next stop and didn't get caught! WHEW
and then i paid when i got on the next bus. but seriously, screw paying for it every time. hooray i can actually afford to buy a muni pass for next month!!!!!!

today was a great day. mornings/nights are freezing sometimes, but chilly lovely san francisco in the late afternoon makes my skin tingle. i love it.

lots of random things making me smile lately:

old asian woman standing in front of me in the kaiser check-in line, putting her feet directly on the footprints they have on the floor to show people where to line up, she glanced back at me and i smiled and she giggled.

people recognizing each other in the psychiatric care waiting room, and not being awkward about it.

a woman thanking the muni driver as she gets off the bus.

a little girl using her muni transfer to make a paper airplane.

nice guests telling me i'm doing a really good job, and a family that gave me a $2 tip for calling a taxi for them.

really cheerful homeless guy asking how my day is going.

a smiley face in chalk on the sidewalk.

I AM SEEING OF MONTREAL TOMORROW!!!!!!!!!! for the third time :D

...awwww i love hanging out at ian's house, he brings me food when i don't even expect it. nom nom chicken teriyakiiii
hooray for warm cats!

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