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Nov. 10th, 2011 @ 05:38 am FURIOUS.
Feeling: enragedenraged
This just happened at the Occupy Cal protest at UC Berkeley.


Look at the students. Linked arms. Peacefully standing together.

Look at the cops. Look at the cops beating students. Disgusting.

My roommate Claire was there. She was arrested, and she came home a little after 5am with a huge red mark on her chest from being struck with a baton.

I have nothing more to report. :(
omg whaaat bug-eyed kitties
Nov. 1st, 2011 @ 04:34 am my weekend was awesome
on saturday, aron & i participated in an peaceful occupy movement protest:
1,000 people spelling out the words "tax the 1%" on ocean beach in san francisco.
we arrived just in time, and we were at the top of the % sign

http://www.humanbannersf.com/

and then we attended an absolutely epic, live concert event:
SHPONGLE LIVE at the fox theater in oakland, california

(review & photos here)
CLICK THIS, OH MY GOD


i've seen 3 simon posford dj sets (2 shpongle, 1 hallucinogen) and now that i've seen the full band perform in a grand spectacle that included raja ram's flute solos, a fairy violinist, unicorns and mystical creatures, a neon human slinky.. words cannot capture the experience... the dancers, costumes, lights, sounds, energy!!! :O
they have performed only about a dozen live concerts worldwide, EVER.

(AND they played many of my favorite songs but that's not even so important)

one of the best shows of my life :)
OMGZ CAT HAZ LASER EYEZ PEW PEW
Oct. 26th, 2011 @ 02:04 pm hella occupy oakland.
Feeling: sadsad
hey lj-land, i have internet at home - FINALLY! expect life updates soon ;)

but, RIGHT NOW is the perfect time to write about ... occupy oakland.

i have spent several hours at the campsite at city hall during the last two weeks, and it has been absolutely, profoundly inspiring. the camp began on october 10th, and it was brutally shut down by riot cops yesterday. so i've been reading all the articles i can get my eyes on, to learn as much as i can about how & why it happened this way. so, here is my experience - with research and photos from various local blogs (and a few i took myself).













the energy at the camp was like a festival - very well-organized, very peaceful. lots of wonderful things to explore, and lots of creative and passionate people volunteering their time, effort, skills and resources to make it all happen, an interactive marketplace with no currency. everywhere: people dancing, talking, reading, cooking, making art, building furniture, giving free tarot readings, free haircuts, free massage... there was constantly something going on: live music, hip hop performances (and the best beatboxing ever!), poetry slams, yoga, community meetings and workshops... there were talks on radical history, anarchism, marxism, the black panthers, economic systems, meditation, anger management and communication, different cultures, environmental issues and sustainability... my roommate claire gave a workshop about herbal medicine for female-bodied people :)



also, there was:
a community library with many pamphlets/zines and revolutionary reading material
a media area with computers powered by pedaling a stationary bicycle
a first-aid tent
several port-a-potties donated by someone
an arts and crafts tent
a supplies tent with water and blankets
a community garden of vegetables growing in pots
well-organized trash/recycling/compost boxes- and volunteers who picked up trash around the campsite every 6 hours
a free kitchen where there were always big barrels of bread/bagels and apples, take as many as you needed, as well as hot meals, like huge buckets of stew, bbq chicken, salads (with delicious homemade dressing!) and plenty of fruit.
and, a dishwashing station where volunteers tirelessly scrubbed dishes and silverware- my roommate claire often helped with this (YES I ACTUALLY HAVE ROOMMATES WHO DO THEIR OWN DISHES, TOO) :D





notice the blue gloves that the kitchen volunteers wore. THEY WERE REALLY STRICT ABOUT HYGIENE. i tried to grab something from a container and this lady hella scolded me because SHE was supposed to serve the food... i didn't think it was a big deal at the time, but after reading about why the camp was eventually shut down, i understand that the city's concern with public health related to cleanliness and food storage/handling was a major issue, so the kitchen staff really needed to be strict about that. also with dishwashing- they used HOT water, and of course there were specific buckets for washing and rinsing to be very careful about being clean.

also, there were signs posted around the campsite to please not smoke near the tents to respect other campers, and signs/ropes to protect the huge oak tree on the site (basically, don't walk or pee on me!) and a BIG sign by the entrance, expressing that everyone deserves to be safe. NO VIOLENCE IS TOLERATED. it was clearly only a problem with the very small number of mentally-ill homeless people who stayed at the camp. but also, as i have read, city officials have been concerned about drug and alcohol use, fire safety, food storage/preparation and other aspects of public safety and/or health. in the beginning, the oakland mayor was initially sympathetic to the movement, said "democracy is messy," and allowed the occupation to grow - but in the last week, city officials said that cooperative communication between the city and the camp has deteriorated. there have been a few incidents where police or paramedics were summoned to the camp by an individual, but then not allowed access into the site, which i can understand may be unsafe if there is a real emergency. campers have been trying to handle any issues or disputes by themselves, without any outside forces. but tension has also been rising gradually with the fact that individuals have different approaches to what actions ought to be taken in this movement, since that is simply the nature of individuality, and the movement is developing its direction one day at a time. as one blogger wrote, We shouldn’t romanticize what was happening in that camp; parts were incredibly beautiful and inspiring, and then parts were, like anywhere else you have people, problematic. But it was working and growing and struggling, until, of course, it wasn’t allowed to anymore.

after several letters from the city citing public safety concerns, and eviction notices from the police, and the relentless determination of campers to keep their community alive- the camp was ambushed at 4:30am on the morning of tuesday the 25th, by more than 500 police from different counties. over 75 people were arrested.





from someone who was there:
At the time of this writing I am filled with rage. Occupy Oakland, on its second week, was raided by an overwhelming force of approximately 800 police in riot gear. I was there, ready to defend when police from all entrances to Oscar Grant Plaza rushed in with sticks and began beating people. Their tactics were simple but effective: rush in with overwhelming numbers and push out those that intended to stay for a fight, slowly crush resilience of those who took up the tactic of civil disobedience by linking arms and protecting the camp. They beat people with sticks, shot people with rubber bullets, obliterated ear-drums with flash-bang grenades, and choked them with tear gas.

no injuries were reported by police. just one quick google search for photos and videos, and you'll see that was obviously not the case. :(

i was in the area on tuesday evening, after most of the raid had cleared up- my office is only 8 blocks from the camp, and we could hear helicopters all night long. several of my roommates, co-workers and friends were in the area earlier, some were tear-gassed and really shaken up. clouds of orange smoke everywhere. i wasn't physically there for the violence but it is absolutely chilling to see the aftermath, to know that the police who closed the streets and protected the peaceful protesters during marches through the city earlier this week, are the same police who completely obliterated the campsite and evicted the campers using brute force, weapons and toxic chemicals.

look at this before & after shot of a peaceful sign near the front of the camp- it was not blocking an entrance and it was unnecessary for them to tear it down- just an example of cops on a rampage. at the end of it all, cops mingled around the perimeter of the camp, taking pictures and laughing about their destruction. it really makes me sick.




from a beautifully written blog post, reflecting on the raid: We knew that it would happen. If you live with others in a public space in a city, if you set up shelters in which people can live without owning or renting property, if you set up an outdoor kitchen with which to feed anyone who wants food, if you establish a free school at which anyone can read and learn, if you set up bathroom facilities provided by organizations supporting your activities, if you show solidarity with struggles against police killings and police violence against people of color, against the poor, against women, against queers and transpeople, if you state your determination to defend the space you have created against the threat of eviction, in short—if you work toward organizing ways of living and relating to one another that might challenge those mandated by capitalism, your efforts will eventually be crushed by the police.

check out the rest of that blog post ^ ... and for further reading, i recommend these articles:
excellent portrait of a day at the camp: http://scienceblogs.com/tfk/2011/10/occupy_oakland.php
the aftermath of the raid: http://oaklandlocal.com/posts/2011/10/occupy-oakland-touring-aftermath-community-voices.

we must be strong and carry on...
lol the flower man says no!
Apr. 25th, 2011 @ 08:08 am the cruelty's so predictable.
Listening to: sunset rubdown "shut up i am dreaming of places where lovers have wings"


The past is a grotesque animal
And in its eyes you see
How completely wrong you can be
How completely wrong you can be

The sun is out, it melts the snow that fell yesterday
Makes you wonder why it bothered

I fell in love with the first cute girl that I met
Who could appreciate Georges Bataille
Standing at Swedish festival discussing "Story of the Eye"
Discussing "Story of the Eye"

It's so embarrassing to need someone like I do you
How can I explain, I need you here and not here too
How can I explain, I need you here and not here too

I'm flunking out, I'm flunking out, I'm gone, I'm just gone
But at least I author my own disaster
At least I author my own disaster

Performance breakdown and I don't want to hear it
I'm just not available
Things could be different but they're not
Things could be different but they're not

The mousy girl screams, "Violence! Violence!"
The mousy girl screams, "Violence! Violence!"
She gets hysterical because they're both so mean
And it's my favorite scene
But the cruelty's so predictable
It makes you sad on the stage
Though our love project has so much potential
But it's like we weren't made for this world
(Though I wouldn't really want to meet someone who was)

Do I have to scream in your face?
I've been dodging lamps and vegetables
Throw it all in my face, I don't care

Let's just have some fun
Let's tear this shit apart
Let's tear the fucking house apart
Let's tear our fucking bodies apart
But let's just have some fun

Somehow you've red-rovered the gestapo circling my heart
And nothing can defeat you
No death, no ugly world

You've lived so brightly
You've altered everything
I find myself searching for old selves
While speeding forward through the plate glass of maturing cells

I've played the unraveler, the parhelion
But even apocalypse is fleeting
There's no death, no ugly world

Sometimes I wonder if you're mythologizing me like I do you
Mythologizing me like I do you

We want our film to be beautiful, not realistic
Perceive me in the radiance of terror dreams
And you can betray me
You can, you can betray me

But teach me something wonderful
Crown my head, crowd my head
With your lilting effects
Project your fears on to me, I need to view them
See, there's nothing to them
I promise you, there's nothing to them

I'm so touched by your goodness
You make me feel so criminal
How do you keep it together?
I'm all, all unraveled

But you know, no matter where we are
We're always touching by underground wires

I've explored you with the detachment of an analyst
But most nights we've raided the same kingdoms
And none of our secrets are physical
None of our secrets are physical
None of our secrets are physical now


i'm here? )
it is good to be alone
Feb. 8th, 2011 @ 02:03 pm yo gabba gabba!!!
SO AWESOME
i knew that the lead singer of the aquabats was the show's creator and they do music for it, but i didn't realize how many other bands are featured too!!!
there are many more but these are my favorites







OMGZ CAT HAZ LASER EYEZ PEW PEW
Jan. 10th, 2011 @ 12:23 am "nobody likes you when you're 23"
Feeling: happyhappy
Listening to: slick rick "children's story"
on friday i went to an enormous bonfire near our house where we burned 30 christmas trees, it was beautiful- so many flickering sparks of flame, dancing in the air. fire is powerful, i used to be terrified of fire even in tiny forms like a lighter or a match. i appreciate it now. i really like all of the people i've met through aron, and many of them came to hang out at my little birthday shindig the next day.... none of my friends came though, except my old roommate, holly (SO glad she came, it was fun to see her) but seriously, no one else?? i felt really lame.. i hoped at least a few of my oakland co-workers would come. but one was sick, one was tired.. some other friends had family events or traveling or other things going on, and i guess i didn't really expect anyone from concord to come all the way out to SF, anyway.. it was still a good time. played lots of rock band, we had delicious bbq: hot dogs, burgers, chicken, lamb skewers and bacon.. found out that sailor jerry rum + trader joe's cinnamon pear cider is extremely tasty.. and there was amazing triple chocolate cake with some kind of brownie topping & fudge drizzle, and a cupcake that looked like a cheeseburger. aron, clay and jesse played the happy birthday song for me on 3 guitars. CUTE :)

i want to learn guitar and i need to make a commitment to practice time.. 20-30 minutes every day, i can fit it in after work at night. it's hard to start a scary commitment but this is important to me.
too late tonight :p

i miss my friends who live far away. i'm losing touch with everyone. :(
only a couple of people texted me on my birthday - only my parents called - and about a bajillion people wished me a happy bday on facebook. awww, thanks, random person from middle school. i do appreciate the gesture though, and i should stop bitching about this and maybe make some damn phone calls because relationships are a two-way street and i haven't been making the effort. i really miss some people a lot

aron and i went to ike's to buy-1-get-1 free sandwich on my bday, i got a meatball marinara mozzarella stick sandwich with extra bacon and provolone and NO VEGGIES MUAHAHAHAHAAA, it was perfect

what else is new.... we've been watching excellent movies and television....

THE WIRE holy gods you must watch THE WIREEEEE, i'm on season 3 now.. IT IS SO FUCKING GOOD

and we watched gonzo, the documentary about hunter s. thompson. what a guy. what a crazy bastard. one of my heroes for sure. i just read fear and loathing in las vegas recently, it was very interesting to learn about his life + influences to understand more about his work. i really recommend watching the doc.

and we watched food, inc - i already knew most of the main points from reading the omnivore's dilemma but this was a great overview of how our capitalistic food industry fucks everyone up, from the workers to the livestock to the consumers, and all the environmental and health costs.. the creepy fact that the leaders of government organizations like the FDA and USDA which regulate food safety, ALSO happen to hold positions in the huge meat-packing companies that they are supposed to regulate- and of course these huge companies give massive campaign contributions, so the politicians let them get away with whatever they want. it is a filthy system that i don't want to support.
visit your farmers markets, y'all. aron's joining a CSA (community supported agriculture) group like http://www.eatwell.com/ or http://www.terrafirmafarm.com for produce, and one for meat as well.

i was craving cupcakes at midnight a few days ago, so i baked vanilla ones, and some with a lot of orange extract, i still have some left and they are still moist and lovely <3 <3 it has been a good week in spite of being sick for the majority of it, i'm only a little sniffly now :)
music will save us
Dec. 19th, 2010 @ 12:52 am slowly learning that life is okay
Feeling: touchedtouched
whoohhh just had a solo bedroom dance party with "white lines (don't do it)" by grandmaster flash, "take on me" by a-ha, "deceptacon" by le tigre, "cockney thug" by rusko - i suggest that you join me in your own bedrooms. what's your jam for the evening???

i'm a little tipsy lol oh hi guyz

i just renewed my lj paid account and ummm yeahhh i really need to post more, rawwwrggg seriously. i've been super busy because my life is: work from 9-3pm, bus + bart to oakland, work from 4 or 5-10pm, go home, sleeeeep, rinse and repeat. i feel so ridiculous that this is my life??/ life isn't supposed to be WORK WORK WORK WORKKKKKK like this. i told my parents that heald college wanted me to interview for an academic advisor position (full-time, with benefits) and i haven't done it yet because i feel this stupid RESPONSIBILITY to continue working at my current part time jobs - and they said noooo dude what are you waiting for omg you need to go to this interview, your other jobs will understand. except they didn't call me dude. and they didn't say "omg." but yeah. aron has been telling me this too. so i will call the heald college lady VERY SOON and see what's up with that.

i love aron and we've been having some SHIT (that is just normal with living together/sharing a room - we see each other EVERY DAY and we need more space apart) it's been hard to deal with because i know i need to hang out with other friends but i just don't have very much time and not many friends here... but i NEED to make more of an effort to do this. we've had so many long & frustrating conversations about this conflict and it's so silly because i know that we will always be okay in the big picture of everything.

other than that, life's dandy!!!! i love living with the cats, i love that they walk all over me and snuggle up close and they are so adorable all the time, i love eating granola with yogurt and honey and asian pears, and also granola with milk and honey (which is best for the more clumpy granola because it breaks up in the milk, fuck clumpy granola) and i love that i just got promoted at peace action west and now i give pre-shift briefings and i'm a trainer and i get to teach the noobs how to be awesome, there are so many good people and so much positive reinforcement at this job, i really feel so good there!!!! and i love the magic of caffeine pills keeping me awake for my boring daytime telemarketing job!!! and i love living across the street from this lame job (and how they never get mad when i take a sick day or come in late) and i really love living in this house, i love sleeping all curled up and cozy and loved, okay i just have to swoon about aron for a second, he pets me lightly with his fingertips and it makes me shiver and we have incredible sexytimes - and he cooks for me - and he constantly stimulates me intellectually and philosophically - he is one of the best friends i've known and i absolutely love him in my life

shit i must be tipsy, i have to correct so many typos as i am writing this lol

i bought my greyhound ticket to visit reba and kay in la for a few days between christmas and new years!!!!!!!!! (reba is your phone working? i texted you) YAYYYYYYYYYY i am SO EXCITED

and i'm seeing the dresden dolls on new years eve!!!

i have some other stories to tell but they can wait. i'm going to put on pjs and get warm in bed...

wait, a cat just curled up on my foot lolllll ahhh i dedicate this entry to [info]kittieonmyfoot HIIIIII!!!

okay thats all for now folks i love you <3
totoro sprouts umbrella so cute
Oct. 29th, 2010 @ 03:06 pm ZOMGG WORKING
Feeling: busybusy
Listening to: detektivbyrån "e18"
i decided not to go to the of montreal concert today (i'm not that thrilled by the new album and i've seen them so many times already) so i sold my ticket for $55 to a guy on craigslist :)

i just watched the rocky horror glee show online. FUCK YESSSSSS MERCEDES YOU ARE A QUEEN and everyone else was amazing too. loved the scene with brittany and santana holding hands, skipping and singing "touch-a touch-a touch me" in the hall, UGH I LOVE THEM </fangirl>

whoa, so most of my free time just went out the window..

i got the 2nd job - it's okay. pretty boring and uninspiring, but okay. i'm working 9am-3pm on mon-thurs and 9-12 on friday. i'm the youngest person there, by far. there are 5 telemarketers, and each one of us covers a different region of the bay area. so i'm calling a long, long list of business numbers, many of which are disconnected because this list is several years outdated. when i reach someone on the other line, i say, "good morning, i'm calling to ask if your company uses a janitorial service?" if the answer is no, i say "thanks, have a great day" and hang up. if the answer is yes, i try to reach the person who is in charge of contracting their janitorial services, and explain that my company is offering free estimates and it only takes 10 minutes and even if you are happy with your current service, it never hurts to keep a backup on file. etc. i booked one appointment my first day at work, and everyone was pleased. but mostly i just try to get the correct person's name so i can try to call back eventually. the job is mostly a stupid never-ending game of phone tag, dialing numbers foreverrr. oh, well. i don't really mind it. amazing location, good pay, and it's pretty chill, everyone just lets me do my thing, it's very independent and apparently it's cool to come in 5 minutes late and leave 10-15 minutes early, lol.. but i am a good little worker and i don't do that (yet). it's so dull, though. i go to the bathroom at least 2x a shift because it is a chance to walk around and take a break!!
the day job makes me REALLLLYYY appreciate my evening job at peace action, because i love everything about it - the people, the ideas, the activism, the passion. i had really wonderful conversations with members on the phone yesterday. and we play hilarious games during break, like charades, mad-libs, pretending we are animals - some type of little activity to keep our energy up. i'm coming in an hour early to prep the paperwork most days now, and i'm going to have more trainings and get promoted SOON!!!!

saturday is my one day of no work at all, i'm going to spend this one in concord GETTING SO MUCH SHIT DONEEEE
OMGZ CAT HAZ LASER EYEZ PEW PEW
Oct. 24th, 2010 @ 11:55 pm creating good space
Feeling: determineddetermined
Listening to: blind melon "no rain"
i have decided to thoroughly clean my room and rearrange the furniture, because i have never done so. my bed takes up the entire room and i want it to be sideways against the wall, and then there will be more floor space, finally. i can't believe i've never moved the damn furniture in 22 years of life in this room. and i think that anyone who has been in my bedroom knows that it's really cramped and messy, and i hate it, and it is COMPLETELY IN MY POWER TO CHANGE THIS!!!!

also i want to set up the tv & xbox in my room again, since i am planning to have a party next month, and i have three different versions of rock band that i haven't played since may.

cleaning this room will force me to analyze my stuff, and either put it away or give it away. i have been blinded to my family's pack-rat nature which i have inherited, i have simply accepted it, and learned to ignore it over the years. so now it is time to nurture minimalism. it's like i suddenly realized that my room is gross and I CAN DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.
omg whaaat bug-eyed kitties
Oct. 23rd, 2010 @ 06:48 am self-actualization
Feeling: hopefulhopeful
Listening to: shpongle "the nebbish route"
this is quite an interesting time of my life (OMG I HAVE DELICIOUS FIBERY CHOCOLATE GRANOLA BARS IN THIS ROOM) ...

...and in my mouth :D
i need to eat better. way too much fast food lately, not enough fruits and veggies. you are what you eat! half of my co-workers are vegan and they're always talking about eating wholesome grains and nuts and seeds, natural sweeteners like carob, molasses and agave nectar, and soy milk and coconut oil instead of butter. (dude, check out coconut oil!)... they chat about this, while i'm sitting there, eating taco bell or canned ravioli or crackers and plasticized american cheese. and a diet coke. i had a stomach ache today and i'm not surprised! how silly~

these are yummy and have tons of fiber and i think they are the best granola bar EVER


(if you know a better granola bar, BRING IT ON. these are sooo good. also the peanut butter flavor!)

ok- back to what i was talking about before i got distracted by granola bars, and read the wikipedia articles for carob and molasses and agave..

i am at a crossroads of deciding how i can spend my time & energy most awesomely to get the most satisfaction out of life. in my lovely shower earlier, i thought of this shower as a metaphor for life - it's really not as wonderful if you don't use enough shampoo. it's not as good if you don't USE the tools that are available to you! it is completely in my power to make significant life changes in my sleeping, eating, working, and playing habits. i was thinking of some specific things that i want to DO MORE:
-yoga!
-sing!
-practice guitar!
-read good books!
-eat healthy & natural foods!
-cook & bake!
-make magazine mosaic collage art!
-write!

what's holding me back????? i'm not "too busy with school" anymore. i have a college degree and the rest of my life ahead of me. i'm free to make my own priorities. and right now i'm concerned about having zero time to rekindle my passions. all of these things are important for me to be the best carrie i can be.

conversations with aron have been extremely helpful and important.

(11:34:10 PM): i think making an art, helping people and treating others well, being fit physically and healthy, being connected to earth either in conserving or minimizing waste, consuming art, these are all universal joys...find something to satisfy each of these that are connected to who carrie is as a person and you'll be happy
(11:34:13 PM): and gathering knowledge
(11:34:17 PM): of everything all the time

(11:44:14 PM): think too about the way you think, the way you look at the world, the way in which you deal with stimulus, figure out what personality type you are, and think which forms of expression, and options you have to put your energy into would satisfy that way of thinking the most
(11:49:18 PM): realize that you can't do everything instantly, it'll take years and years and years of dedicated practice to get good at guitar...and then will it have any value other than just for fun? maybe if you're good enough, maybe you'll write songs! maybe you'll get lazy and not, no way to tell without trying, but good to anticipate! feel things out and knowing yourself is important before jumping in any direction. know what will come easiest and what will be hardest and what satisfy you the most and weigh whether the energy you must put into something will be worth the satisfaction you'll get out of it, or are there certain things you'll get more satisfaction out of but will require more energy out of you and is it worth it?
(11:49:32 PM): everything happens in little steps, be ready to put in a lot of little steps
(11:49:37 PM): over long periods of time
(11:50:07 PM): the satisfaction comes from the journey


<3

also-
i had the great insight that i should get more involved and work hard to get a promotion at peace action west. my supervisors/co-workers say that they appreciate my positive energy, they are encouraging and everyone has warm vibes, it's a productive thoughtful supportive environment, we talk about things we care about, and we challenge each other to gain a stronger, confident voice. this is exactly the kind of thing i NEED. i feel like i really matter there! i did get a little bonus on my pay this month because i raised so much money, $300-$500 a night when my fundraising quota is supposed to be $150-200 or something. i'm getting better at this. i have been working there for 2 months now, and i believe i am worth more than $9 an hour! my supervisor dennis has mentioned that i should become a room leader and then a trainer (helloooo pay raise!) so, i'm starting to have more responsibility! i am coming in an hour early on monday to prepare and sort all of the paperwork for that day's phone shift, all by myself!!! I'M REALLY EXCITED FOR THIS.

and i realized that i can be PROACTIVE about increasing my responsibility and the value of my work (and my pay level!!!) in other jobs, i didn't feel that i had much control. like 2 years ago when i shipped packages of cheap-ass jewelry for an angry chinese man's ebay store. he paid me under the table and he was a shitty asshole who constantly criticized me. the best part about this job was that his sweet wife let me stay for dinner sometimes. oh, and i really liked betty, the clerk at the post office down the street.. lol but really it was such a horrible job!!! i put up with so much shit :(

i really loved my hotel concierge job last year. i was constantly making conversation, helping people, and creating my own financial success by booking guests for timeshare presentations (with the cheapest promo gifts possible!) it was completely based on communication skills and personal interaction, and it was one of the best job experiences i've ever had. it was challenging and definitely helped me grow. i was very sad when the entire san francisco concierge dept was cut from the budget... a bitter reminder that the company was much bigger than me, and the timeshare-sales corporate management only cared about numbers and dollar signs.

working at paw is very different because it is a non-profit organization. it pays employees so they can survive, but also its employees are keeping the organization alive. the canvassers and the phone fundraisers are the link to the public. we inform and inspire members to keep bringing in the money! the money that pays our wages AND strengthens the peace movement! also, most people who work here really have a passionate interest in seeing peaceful progress in US foreign relations. we are working for a worthy cause, and i feel that the organization is worth more of my time and energy, just as my work for them is worth more than $9/hour. i feel good about taking on more responsibility!! but even with the promotion, i'll still only have limited part-time hours and that does not enable me to move out of my parents' house.

cue the search for job #2!!
on wednesday i had a job interview that went really well but i haven't heard back yet, i'm going to give them a call tomorrow. it's a telemarketing position for an eco-friendly janitorial services company. they update companies' bathrooms with air hand dryers to replace paper towels, toilets that conserve water, cleaning products with no harmful chemicals, etc.
there are a lot of things that would be really wonderful about this job. i would make $10/hour, working 25 guaranteed daytime hours in a week, which would never conflict with my evening fundraising job. i would be calling companies to set them up with a free consultation. (not the kind of telemarketing where you're annoying people at home trying to sell them newspapers, fuck that noise!) the company is stable and there are several employees who have been there for years. there are opportunities for growth, the office manager who interviewed me started out in the telemarketing dept. it's a small office so people are treated like PEOPLE and get personal appreciation & support. the interviewer liked my enthusiasm and energy. OH AND the part that is SUPER AWESOME: the office is located literally across the street from aron's house in SF!! where i already am about half of the time.. and this would be the perfect way to mostly move out of concord for good.

the concord house is stagnant and negative for me in a lot of ways. i've been here forever and i have too much physical stuff, i can't escape the clutter. it has been this way for my entire life in the house. i don't want to be a slave to objects anymore. my mom is a serious pack rat too. i'm so used to this house, i've been blind to how bad it really is. i must work on this for myself. i've grown up always being thrifty and paranoid-resourceful ("buy it on sale, and always hold onto it because you might need it someday!") so i am working on shifting my values away from clinging to material possessions. one of my aunts was a terrible OCD hoarder and her entire house was filled with junk, you had to walk sideways through it. my parents' house is obviously not that extreme and it is mostly cluttered with lots of useful stuff, but still. it's the same idea. stuff -> security.

also i have to deal with my parents' passive-aggressive control-games bullshit, and constant supervision, and feeling like a little kid in the same room i've had since i was a baby.. it's time to be independent, FINALLY. the perks of having home-cooked meals (when i'm actually here for them) and my laundry done for me.. these are not good enough reasons to stay at my parents' house. i am here solely because i can't afford to live anywhere else. but i could gradually move into aron's house, help with something like $200 for rent/utilities, enjoy the all-access pass to cozy cuddles, 4 adorable cats and kittens, a bunch of awesome housemates and the long-awaited return to life in san francisco.

..we'll see what happens with getting job #2.

and a question: how do you manage your time so you can do important things that you really enjoy???

i know i need to devote time for myself, in a positive environment.
but i often put social stuff and other people above the necessity of carrie-time, AND it looks like i will be insanely busy with 2 jobs >_< such is life, eh?


dude, i gotta do more yoga!!! stretching feels so wonderful.
juicy fruity tangy yum